(I’m gonna) love me again

I’m approaching a milestone in a couple of months (my 60th birthday), something I haven’t been looking forward to, quite frankly. I know I should embrace it (“Hey, look at me! I’m 60! I’m fabulous! Look at what I’ve accomplished!”), but I haven’t quite gotten there yet.

Well, I’ve decided now’s the time to change that…and I’m going to start with a little help from my friends. You might have guessed that I would have chosen “Sixty Years On” for the inspiration for this post, but guess again:

Saying I’m gonna love me again
Check in on my very best friend
Find the wind to fill my sails
Rise above the broken rails

I’ve always struggled with self-confidence, but so do most people. Of late, I’m too focused on the extra pounds, the ever-present wrinkles, the diminishing professional stature, yada, yada, yada. How do I let that go?

I’ve thought about the times in my life where I really, truly felt good about myself, such as:

  • When I was pregnant (I felt special, which is funny, because billions upon billions of women have done this, too)
  • When I am writing (This has been a constant affirmation throughout my life)
  • When I traveled to new places (Even – or perhaps I should say, especially – when I traveled by myself)
  • Each time I got my A1C under 7.0 (I set a goal for myself and achieved it)
  • When my family and friends are proud of me (Nothing means more to me)

So what was different at those times? I don’t want to make this into a therapy session, but suffice it to say that I…and only I…am responsible for me and how I feel. I’ve known that all along, but sometimes I let that get away from me.

A house has many secrets, so I’m told
Through the years, a theory can grow cold
I’m up to speed, the cane is cut and clear
The voice inside my head’s the one I hear

And the voice inside my head is now saying, “Hey, look at me! I’m 60! I’m fabulous! Look at what I’ve accomplished!”

And…given that EJ had one of his best, most prolific years in 2019 at 72, that voice is going to also say, “And you haven’t seen anything yet!”

I’m free and don’t you know
And oh oh oh, I’m gonna love me again

If you hear me humming this tune, you’ll know why.

Note: This post is dedicated to the strong, brave, brilliant, beautiful women of the South Dade Ladies Group.